What God Cannot Do: Tumor Update

I don't believe in luck. I believe in a plan. No coincidences, no accidents. I believe in something more than fate and destiny. I believe in a designer.

I see God as an architect. The design is perfect but because He uses less than perfect beings in His plan, He has to cover up their mistakes. In the end, all the corners we cut will be unseen. Perfection will be all that remains after covered by His blood.

I've often compared Jesus to a pilot. Some might say we've been circling the "valley of the shadow of death" a little too close for comfort. I've walked in this valley with family and friends. I found out  comfort's overrated. I prefer an awesome view. Awesome views require efforts. Photos are nice but there's nothing like being there. So, let's get a little closer. Most people sacrifice too much life just to be comfortable. 

 The operation was a success. Most of the tumor was removed. We'll know more the next MRI. The initial diagnosis of a benign tumor was wrong. It's a chordoma not an epidermoid. Meaning it's cancer. Specialized radiation will follow in Boston.  As far as cancer goes, about as good as it gets. Battle lines have been drawn.

A few Sundays from now we'll start a new series called Fight. God's timing wows me. For some time now, it's been very clear to me the enemy has stated "this means war." With God's help, I intend to give him one. Before finding out about this tumor, I was spreading the gospel. Just a week before my first episode with my tumor, I applied to Liberty University with a major of evangelism. The tumor is probably the answer to getting the impossible done.. Holy sabotage, when will Satan learn?  If anything I intend to be more urgent, since I have the enemy's attention. I encourage you to be an adversary of hell to the point Satan wages war. You need supplies, not comfort, to be formidable. If you're comfortable with merely surviving, Jesus is going to give you a wake up call. Trust me, there are things an almighty God can not do.

He cannot lie. Meaning He won't break His promises. I will have them in this life or the next. I will be rescued. This is working together for my good. This is the best thing that could have happened. Ask Bob Granata, if a tree landing on his house in August 2012, was the best thing? You'll get a different answer than the night I picked him up. We prayed through tear filled eyes but we claimed Romans 8:28. 

He cannot be wrong. Make no mistake about it, God doesn't make mistakes. "His plan included you and me and this day. Forever He knew it would be this way." I didn't plan on tumors or cancer but God did. He's ready for this even if I'm not. He's used to carrying me. Dragging me might be more like it. I'm ready to praise Him for it. All of it. Don't you dare not rejoice in this.

He cannot fail.  And he won't. He's in control. His plan is perfect, not easy. I asked for a larger testimony. He gives us what we ask for. "Don't pray that unless you mean it". Now where have I heard that before ? Oh yeah, from Kevin at the Rock, countless times over sevin years. 

You get God can do anything, but He's too holy to to some things,right?

I'm inviting you on this journey to show you how sweet it can be. Let's experience this life preparing for the next. The plane is always circling the shadow of the valley of death. Sure, you can pull the blind down or close your eyes to ignore it. Stick your head in the sand.  If you do, you'll likely miss a glimpse of something wonderful and beautiful over the horizon. Like heaven. 

What If ...?

No two words gather more anxiety than "what if?". What if I loose my job? What if my spouse leaves? What if a meteor falls from the sky and obliterates the planet? Nothing is as frightening as the unknown but I've lived long enough to know most things we worry about never actually happen. For a long time I've known "what if? " is a monster.  A beloved pastor friend once said, "Jesus slays the "What If Monster." As much as it is humanly possible, I believe that.

Nothing awakens a sleeping "what if?" dragon like hearing "there's a tumor in your head and we aren't sure what it is." Even with the helmet of salvation, the "what ifs" will echo in your mind upon hearing such news. I promise you won't need, as I have had, well meaning friends  to tell you their near death experiences didn't produce any evidence of a hereafter. Expect, because of your faith and attitude toward life and death, for them to assume you have thrown in the towel. Rest assured, despite my eagerness to be with Christ and because of my desire to serve Him here, I would be quite content in growing old. 

If there's a "what if?" question concerning my current  condition that I haven't asked myself and God, I haven't got a clue of what it could be. If you know me, you know I've examined this thing from every angle three or four times. I analyze things backwards and forwards, It's who I am. It's why my faith is what it is. I've tested it from every angle I've doubted it from.

Through the years I've learned this truth. The greatest fiery dart to ever hit our shields of faith will be: what if the gospel isn't true? As deep as that rabbit hole goes it still has a bottom. I could write a book on that terrible scenario in which mankind can find no hope outside itself. There's lots of reasons why being a Christ follower makes sense to me. While many of those points would deliver a death blow to the "what if?", my weapon of choice is Love. I could make a biblical case for Love being the spiritual sword. Without the gospel, Love is reduced to just an evolved protein.  However, if this faith has been conjured up by my faculties through some grand cosmic accident, producing nothing more than chemical responses to stimuli, then I will have been better for it.  I will never make an apology for having faith, hope, and love or for spreading it. I would never trade a delusion of hope in something for a reality of nothing to hope in. If my only reward shall be the relationships made while worshiping in vain, then it will have been worth it. I'd rather spend whatever time I have with those delusional enough to recognize mankind has a collective problem than those who believe they are immune to it. Or those who believe there isn't a problem. Or worse, those who think they have the solution to the problem within themselves. Call me hopelessly romantic, but I rather be with those delusional enough to believe themselves to be broken and in need of a real thing called love. Love holds a mirror in front of "what if?". Like Medusa, it is defeated by its own ugly reflection. What if the gospel isn't true? Then our reality, our reflection is a cross minus a resurrection. "What if?" once made the mistake of holding a mirror on front of a cross. Had it only reflected what mankind had made the cross into, I would have ran from "what if?". Ironic as this may seem to some, the only scenario I give up in, is one where the cross only reflects a return to the pointless nothingness so many believe we came from. But the cross doesn't reflect just our ugliness. It reflects the most beautiful of all transformations of when the universe dared to ask Jesus ," what if?" Only God could have changed that ugly image of death into one of faith, hope, and Love. He can transform the darkness with the tiniest of lights. Since He first said," let there be light"the darkness has been running scared .Imagine what that power could do for your reflection.

Don't Do God Any Favors

    Each month, I reflect on the greatest lesson God has taught me the past thirty days. This past month, I have had an education. I could have told you about some serious problems I was having, until a tree landed on Bob's house, destroying it. Then all my problems seemed small. As soon as I got the news, I went straight to Bob. I did not see a tree, or a disaster, I saw an opportunity. We prayed. We quoted ROMANS 8 :28.
^28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who^[a] have been called according to his purpose." And the scripture was proven true right then and there.  Bob believed God caused that tree to fall on that house for his good, then God called me to His purpose... to help Bob.
      Our church family has really stepped up and answered the call. Pastor Kevin connected with Bob and made sure his immediated need of shelter was met. Chris Fulmer first gave Bob tarps to protect his home's contents. Jill and I have given him a place to stay. Andy Howell and John Lowes helped remove the tree. Jim and Michelle Worley, Jim Brown, Aaron Langston, Mike Ailshie, and Julie Alesie all helped move Bob's valuables to a safe place. Jodi Outlaw has built and maintained Bob's facebook page. The Rock staff, especially Debbie Richardson, have been an awesome help. Kevin Sansbury has researched county records. David Deitz has drawn and engineered the house plan. Other's have given or pledged their time and money from inside and outside our church. Especially Bob Cody, a contractor outside our church, who itemized a list of what we need for this project. Four local churches have donated to Bob. Together, we have raised over $7000. We have three fundraisers planned. We are on the way to building Bob a home with God's help.

Here is what I have learned, so far:           

God works in mysterious ways.  I know it's cliche, but can it be a coinidence, because a tree fell on a house, I got a talk with an agnostic atheist friend, while we are studying how to defend the faith?

God's call comes with two guarantees. All needs supplied.CHECK. Opposition from the enemy. CHECK.

People will disappoint you. as I am sure I have and will. I welcome any spiritual correction for myself. I need it. Please know that my heart is in the right place as I share this. I have asked several close personal friends,who are pastors, to help with this project. Most have flat out ignored my request. They seemed indifferent about it, giving no conversation to it at all.  In my opinion, this cause is a no brainer for believers based on James 2: 14-17. By the way you know who gets this? A man, poorer than any of you monetarily and spiritually bankrupt. He's my atheist friend ,who has and will continue, to help out the homeless. However, no, would have been my second favorite answer. What you left me was a wondering mind because you ignored me, Bob, and possibly someone else far more important (see Matthew 25:44-45) Here is a suggestion on how to respond in matters such as this: No, I am sorry we can't. We are already involved in ministries and have obligated ourselves.

Not answering the call means you miss out. Bob has been at our home for 21 days.  I have taken Bob to a my group for almost a year. He has rode to church with me many Sundays. He stayed with me when he did not have any heat  in the winter. Although I thought so at first, I'm not doing God any favors. He was always going to take care of Bob. He was just blessing me in the process with a special friend. I am sure the same goes for any call. I have ignored some, regrettably. Each and every time I say no to God, I've said no to something wonderful and better.And that goes for all of us.









     

A Little Snip Never Hurt Anybody.

Long before Rick Warren joked with presidential hopeful, Barak Obama, during the 2008 debates, often I would say, " it's not about about me." Like all great words of wisdom, they are trifling harder to do than to say. As humble a servant of Jesus I would like to be, I fail. I fail both constantly and consistently. I fail monumentally. I fail in all areas but none so hard and fast as in humility. Man could sooner unravel the fabric of time and knit it back again than to be conscious of his own humility. The moment he becomes aware of it, instantaneously he is seduced by his vanity. It is horrifying, once you understand any and everyone's best attempt at being charitable is an extension of their selfish motives. It would be a viscous, never ending cycle except for God's grace.

 God's grace is so beautiful to those who know it. Parents name their daughters for it. Developers name roads for it. Singers sing about it. Preachers preach about. You can't earn it or get more of it, but you can learn more about it. The more you learn about God's grace, the more addictive to it you become. After my recent surgery, and throughout the recovery process , I have been reminded the free gift of God's grace comes the less palatable free gift of God's discipline.

Just a few days before the operation, my mother came to visit me. In her attempt to calm my anxieties about my health, we surveyed my lawn. Her lawn looks like a picture from Better Homes & Garden magazine and she has helped make my landscaping a success. As she pointed out my problems and progress we stopped at my rose bush. My rose's were picturesque. Surely my mother would praise my efforts. Instead, she predictably informed me on how to improve them. " They are beautiful son, but they need pruning if you want them to produce more blooms". She went on to explain that the growth had maxed out the bush. Since the light could no longer penetrate the plant, the existing blooms would exhaust the plant and stifle new growth. So the next day I began to do as she suggested. I have never seen a more pitiful rose, but I trusted her. I new she wanted to help me and knew her knowledge of roses surpassed mine, immensely.

During the process, I knew that God was about to do the same thing in my life. Both spiritually and physically , He was removing things that were hindering my ability to grow. He was going to snip off of me, ( no pun intended) whatever needed to go, in order to get more of His light to penetrate. Jesus says it like this, "I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. ²  Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit John 15 :8." I knew His knowledge surpassed mine and that I must trust Him. Here are a couple of revelations:                                                      

No pain no gain. The moment I awoke from the surgery, I was in less pain than before. I knew I was on the way to recovery. Still, I would not have chosen this path for myself. Now the pain from the surgery is almost a memory. Looking back, this time afforded me time with my girls during the summer. Also, I was able to study, reflect, and  meditate, in capacities I never had before. I would not trade this time to pain free. 

Sometimes it is about me. So I can glorify Him of course. My feeble efforts in humility are only matched by nearsighted logic. In my wholehearted willingness to convey to the world Christ in my life, I would say, "It's not about me." Unknowingly, robbing God of praise for His love of me. Maybe it was the attention I got during my hospital stay and recovery but seeing all this equipment set up for my benefit, and so many people working on me, and some many people praying for me, got me to thinking. God had planned all this for me. The Holy Spirit brought my name to my praying friends. He planned and  provided for me. He even made time to prune me.He will do the same for anyone. St. Irenaeous said," The glory of God is man fully alive." Likewise, Jesus said, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. John10:10" My life is about Him, because his death was about me. If He loves me enough to die for me, I can trust Him with the pruning and with the results.

Where the Mountain Meets the Valley.

There are many mountains and valleys along every christain journey and mine is no exception. I don't think I have ever experienced as many highs and lows in any one month as May of 2012. The surprise birthday party with 50 + members of my family and friends was just awesome. If you had a part in that, let me say thank you. Still, turning 40 does something psychologically to you, and it ain't pretty. Coupled with that, I have been fighting my first ever long lasting infirmary, epididymitus, ( look it up later, for now take my word for it it's painful) for the last three months. In just a few days, my Dr. will decide if surgery is the answer. Between the pain, the uncertainty, and the incapitations that comes along with it, I  have been battling more than just a medical condition. I have been wrestling more than flesh and blood. I have tried to keep an open mind.  It is true what they say, " idol hands is the devil's workshop". Keeping busy, has afforded me easy victories in spiritual battles but during this ordeal , keeping " an open mind" has been my greatest enemy. Frankly, I have had some pretty sinful  thoughts, lately. Spiritually speaking, I  am exhausted. It goes without saying, I want nothing to hinder my relationship to Christ. Let me share some specifics of what kept these sinful thoughts from becoming sinful actions.
First things first, My GOD. Understand this is a honest opening of my heart and not an attempt to be self righteous. My problems are minute compaired to other people. But I know they are important me and  to God. It seems too easy to say God helped me.To simply admit to the fear of God, as real as it is, does not do justice to a relationship with Him. I feared a strain in our relationship just from the thoughts I was having. I recognized these thoughts were sins. Trying to channel self serving thoughts is futile in your own strength, I asked for His help and God interviened. Here is how.
My church. This isn't an advertisement for my church, but it is a great church.  God's plan involves it. For my protection and His purpose God has used this church. Get yourself to a Bible teaching church!!!I can't tell you how many one liners from sermons I thought I had forgotten came back as I contiplated. I never really cared what people thought of me but as a volunteer there, I felt a certain responsibility to walk the walk. My church lead me to my MY group.
MY Group. Here is where the story gets interesting,  I have never been a part of a close group like this before. I will never be without one again. Something happens in a my group. I can't explain it but there is a connection.You share your weaknesses and somehow the group gets stronger. Nothing helped me through this more than my group. Partially, because some of these same issues we had discussed at one of the meetings. And just by chance (right) I found that particular study guide at my lowest moment. Additionally, these personal connections were so strong, I could not possibly bring myself to shame infront of these godly men and women. I thank God for my MY Group.
Last things last, My God.  He is the first and the last. I had to force myself to pray and read the bible throughout this.I had to remind myself of many things God word says. Like Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desires. The key being take delight in Him.( that means He will be what your heart desires)
  One of the passages I came across was Proverbs 3 . The whole chapter was like water to a parched thirst but verses 7-8. really stuck out.

Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. 
   Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
⁸ Then you will have healing for your body
    and strength for your bones.

Charles Stanley once said" God did not call us to an open mind but to an open book." I'd do better to remember that.  
.  From the peaks you just enjoy the view of the valley.Mountains are appreciated from the valley. All mountain climbs begin in the valley.I am convinced that the deeper the valley that God brings you to, the higher the mountain He is preparing you to climb.  I am not sure this battle is over. I am sure God has already won the war. I am sure I don't have to climb this mountain alone.