Brain Tumors, Hell, and Pecan Trees

In September of 2014, I wrote this blog announcing to the world I had a brain tumor.  On the day I learned I had a brain tumor, I discovered a new pecan tree that had sprouted from the roots of one I was loosing, despite having pampered it.

The new tree reminded me, God brings dead things to life. 

 It was a beautiful sight having just returned home with a stable report from my second annual checkup. The tree has become a symbol of my struggle. Reminding me, God is good.

Lots happened over those three years.  Besides daily pain, I've experienced a misdiagnosis, a cancer diagnosis, brain surgery, temporary relocation for proton beam radiation treatment, recovery. In three years I witnessed a 100 year blizzard in Boston. A thousand year flood, trumped by the following year with Hurricane Matthew. Visited the Grand Canyon.

A daughter moved out, a couple of friends (whom I was sure would outlive me) died, a couple of friends finally conceived, an aunt passed away, and a granddaughter is on the way. 

I answered God's call to the ministry, went fishing for men in Tanzania, got ordained and left a church I loved to teach at another. 

I'm overwhelmed by what God has done and shown me in three short years. But every day, when I get home, a pecan tree reminds me God is good. 

In my meditations, I've learned to

beware of the "ations" when interpreting God's Word.

God's Word isn't for mere admiration, justification, or gratification. It is for salvation, not just to, but also from a God of perfect love. God's Word cannot simply be read for His pacification. It should be practically applied. Practical application of God's Word, will be nothing more than a speculation, unless there's a dedication, to the implication of God's word. And confirmation, will become nothing more than a fascination, if we succumb to the temptation, to use our imaginations to interpret God's word. Scripture interprets Scripture. Jesus doesn't want mere infatuation. He wants our total love, in Action.

Intentional efforts to make Christianity a custom fitted truth for this generation's cult of personality, has become impossible to ignore. 

Much of what God has said and done, is being ignored, making God appear more approachable. Obscuring part of who He is.

So, in an effort to highlight God's grace , we sacrificed the truth. Hell disappeared and famous pastor author, Rob Bell, declared "Love" the winner.

We've taught we should hate the sin while loving sinners. I believe that's true. It only makes sense, after all, none of us are perfect. Still, let's not forget or pretend the harsh reality is unbelievers, not sin, suffers in Hell. They suffer, not for having never obtained perfection, but from having never embraced perfection. Pretending that isn't the truth, isn't loving.

1 Corinthians 13:6 teaches that love rejoices in the truth. The truth is God is good even when the report is bad. In every moment, in every circumstance, which we we are unable to change, but wish we could, God is good.

 When He destroyed Sodom, He is good. In the flood, when He wiped from the Earth, every living thing except those He saved, God is good. Even in the moment He created Hell, He is good, justified, and righteous. He is holy and worthy of glory, honor, and praise.

God is perfect. Every attribute of His divine nature, every aspect of His eternal power, is a transcendence beyond our comprehension. He created and defines love. He hates sin. Therefore, He loves perfectly And He hates perfectly.
Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him.
Romans 5:9
Our salvation comes not simply from what poured out of Christ, but also from what God poured onto His son.
For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 2 Corinthians 5:2
The greatest act of love the world has ever known, simultaneously wrought in wrath against all that God hates.

The pecan tree has really grown. In many ways its more lovely now than the first tree I had lost. Here's the thing,

It's not the same tree. 

As I have grown, I'm not the same person. The more Christ reveals Himself to me, through His word, the more I hope to one day become completely unrecognizable to myself. He must increase and I must decrease.

I'm overwhelmed by the love shown by the inventor of Love.

Who has, by His Word, shown me God is Love, but love isn't God. God can be our everything, but everything can not be our God. 

Every time I see the new tree, I am reminded God is good.  He saved me for a relationship with Him. 
He's done miraculous things in my life. He saved me from cancer. He shown me marvelous and beautiful wonders.

I cut the old dead pecan tree down. It was stealing life from the new tree and rejecting everything I did. So, I burned what I planted, and watched my time and resources go up in smoke, knowing whatever beauty or love we see in this life comes from a good God.  And knowing, God's never looked more loving, or more beautiful to me, than when He saved me from the Hell I deserved.